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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967752">Stacy's Mom</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meliorthewriterman30/pseuds/Meliorthewriterman30'>Meliorthewriterman30</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Phineas and Ferb</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Stacy's Mom</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 01:49:29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,386</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25967752</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meliorthewriterman30/pseuds/Meliorthewriterman30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>As Stacy and Coltrane develop a romantic relationship, Coltrane discovers that Stacy's mother, Dr. Hirano, is the one for him. Fanfiction based on the popular Fountains of Wayne song "Stacy's Mom."</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Coltrane/OC, Coltrane/Stacy Hirano, Dr. Hirano/Coltrane</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Stacy's Mom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  
</p><p>
  <b>Note:</b>
</p><p> </p><p><em> Italicized text </em>: the external narrator</p><p> </p><p>(*x*): physical actions</p><p> </p><p>“x”: lines said out loud by the characters</p><p> </p><p>Regular text: Coltrane’s thoughts</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>Coltrane’s POV</b>
</p><p> </p><p>(*Coltrane calls Stacy*)</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Hi, Stacy! It’s Coltrane. Can I come over to your house after school?”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Yes! It’s been so long since we’ve hung out!”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “I know, right! It’s a beautiful day. We should hang around by your pool.”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Ok! See you then!”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “You too!”</p><p> </p><p>Yes! Finally! Some alone time with Stacy! I might fulfill my dream of making her officially my girlfriend! </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> A few hours later… </em>
</p><p> </p><p>(*Coltrane knocks on the door of Stacy’s house*)</p><p> </p><p>(*Stacy opens the door*)</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Coltrane! It’s so good to see you!”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “You too! This is a very nice house!”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Yep! And best of all, we have the entire place all to ourselves for the next 30 minutes or so. Ginger, my younger sister, is at a Fireside Girls’ meeting and my mom is on a business trip.”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Cool! If you don’t mind me asking, do you have a father?”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Coltrane…”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Oh, I’m so sorry for asking that question. I’m such an idiot.”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Oh, no. It’s fine. He’s not dead or anything like that. My parents divorced years ago and I haven’t seen him since.”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that.”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Yeah. And the worst part is that my mom is still single. It’s so hard for her to find ‘the one.’” </p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Yeah, quality men are a rarity nowadays.”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Tell me about it. It doesn’t help that she’s a doctor. All of those frivolous lawsuits have taken a huge toll on her mental health. Most of her paycheck is going towards malpractice insurance. It’s insane. She’s so stressed out all the time and she doesn’t have a man to be there for her.”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Yeah, that sucks.”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Yep. It’s even worse with the recession we’re in right now. At the business meeting she’s at right now, she’s announcing huge salary cuts and staff layoffs. It sucks, but they are necessary in order to keep her clinic profitable.”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “So, when is your mom getting back from her business trip?”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “She should be back in 20 minutes or so.”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Cool! I can’t wait to meet her!”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Trust me. You’ll love her. She’s such a lovely woman. Even during these tough times, she still remains nice and friendly towards others.”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “In the meantime, let’s hang around by your pool. I am so hot right now. I need to swim!”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Oh, Coltrane. You’re always hot.”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Oh, you.”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fast forward 30 minutes and Stacy and Coltrane are in their bathing suits, swimming in her pool and having meaningful conversation: </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Stacy, I was wondering…”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Suddenly, Stacy’s mom enters the backyard. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Oh, my! Stacy’s mom is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen in my life! Her eyes are gorgeous, her nose is perfect, she has the perfect jaw structure, her hair's so pristine and beautiful, her legs are so shapely, her curves are so nice, and oh boy, she’s got nice tits and a great ass!</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Hi, mom!”</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Hirano: “Hi, Stacy!”</p><p> </p><p>Her voice is so perfect. It’s so soothing and beautiful that I want to cry. She sort of sounds like Mulan!</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Mom, this is Coltrane.”</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Hirano: “Hi, Coltrane!”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: (*gulps*) “Hi…..Dr. Hirano!”</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Hirano: “You’re such a handsome young man, Coltrane. You’re a lucky girl, Stacy!”</p><p> </p><p>She just called me handsome! She wants the D!</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Thank you!”</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Hirano: “I have to get going. You two have fun!”</p><p> </p><p>(*Dr. Hirano enters the house*)</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Uh, Stacy. I have to go to the bathroom. I’ll be back!”</p><p> </p><p>(*Coltrane runs to the right side of Stacy’s house*)</p><p> </p><p>WHAT. THE. FUCK. I think I’m in love with Stacy’s mom. No! Snap out of it! She’s 50 years old!</p><p> </p><p>Oh, crap! That’s her! </p><p> </p><p>(*Coltrane hides behind the bushes*)</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Dr. Hirano is inside the house changing her clothes in front of the window, oblivious to the fact that Coltrane is hiding behind the bushes. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Oh, my. Her ass looks so amazing in underwear. It jiggles so beautifully. </p><p> </p><p>Oh, fuck. I have a raging erection right now. Stacy’s ass is nowhere near as big. </p><p> </p><p>Stacy’s mom has got it going on! I know it’s wrong, but I think I’m in love with Stacy’s mom! What the fuck!? </p><p> </p><p>I think I just saw her glance at me. I wonder if she can see me, or if she’s trying to give me the slip?</p><p> </p><p>I’m not a little boy anymore! Stacy just doesn’t excite me like her mom does!</p><p> </p><p>Oh, crap! I’ve been gone for 20 minutes!</p><p> </p><p>(*Coltrane runs back to the pool*)</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “That was an awfully long bathroom break!”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Yes. Yes it was.”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Well, I’m glad you’re back. Our lawn needs to be mowed!”</p><p> </p><p>Yes! This is the perfect opportunity for some alone time! I need to sort out my thoughts! </p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Stacy, let me mow the lawn! You stay here! I owe you one after all you’ve done for me.”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Oh, Coltrane. You’re so sweet! The lawn mower is next to the shed over there!”</p><p> </p><p>(*Coltrane goes to the shed, turns on the lawn mower, and begins mowing the lawn*)</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Suddenly, Dr. Hirano comes out of the house with just a towel on. She lies down on a massage table. A massage therapist comes out of the house and begins to massage Dr. Hirano’s back. Coltrane is just a few feet away and has a perfect view of her. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Oh, my! She’s so hot! I can’t take it anymore!</p><p> </p><p>I AM IN LOVE WITH STACY’S MOM.</p><p> </p><p>I can totally get with her. Age is just a number, right?</p><p> </p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>She stared at me at least 3 times in the past 10 minutes alone! She totally likes me. She looked at me with great awe! </p><p> </p><p>Dr. Hirano: “You missed a spot over there.”</p><p> </p><p>She looked at me lustfully and said “you missed a spot over there” in a seductive tone. She totally likes me! </p><p> </p><p>This is not a fantasy! Stacy’s mom totally likes me!</p><p> </p><p>Poor thing. She’s been single for so long! The stresses of being a doctor have worn her out. She needs a man to be there for her! Since her husband left her, she could definitely use a guy like me! I’m the one for her!</p><p> </p><p><em> Fast forward one hour and Stacy and Coltrane are in the living room, watching a movie. As they are watching the movie, Dr. Hirano enters the room </em> , <em> wearing a low-cut shirt that exposes her cleavage and a pair of yoga pants that accentuates her butt.  </em></p><p> </p><p>(*Dr. Hirano drops her pen*)</p><p> </p><p>Dr. Hirano: “Crap!”</p><p> </p><p>(*Dr. Hirano bends down to pick it up, exposing her cleavage clearly in front of Stacy and Coltrane*)</p><p> </p><p>Oh, my! They’re so big and look so soft!</p><p> </p><p>(*Dr. Hirano walks away*)</p><p> </p><p>Oh, my! Her ass looks perfect in those yoga pants! It’s so big and tight! They jiggle in the perfect manner when she walks! I just want to grab and squeeze and pinch it!</p><p> </p><p>I can’t take this anymore! Stacy’s mom has got it going on! Stacy’s is just not the girl for me! She’s too flat for me right now. Stacy’s mom is the one for me!</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Stacy, I have to go to the bathroom!”</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Ok! Don’t take 20 minutes this time!”</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “Don’t worry, I won’t!”</p><p> </p><p>(*Coltrane runs upstairs and into Stacy’s bedroom*)</p><p> </p><p>(*Coltrane sits down on the chair, unzips his pants, and begins to masturbate while thinking about Dr. Hirano’s butt*)</p><p> </p><p>Oh, yeah! Stacy’s mom has got it going on!</p><p> </p><p>(*fap*) (*fap*) (*fap*)</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Meanwhile, Stacy is still in the living room, browsing through her phone.  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “My phone is almost dead! Where did I put the charger?...Oh, that’s right! I left it in my room!”</p><p> </p><p>(*Stacy goes upstairs*)</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Why is there a noise coming out of my room?”</p><p> </p><p>(*Stacy opens her bedroom door*)</p><p> </p><p>Coltrane: “AAAAAH!” </p><p> </p><p>(*Coltrane takes hands off of penis, looks embarrassed*)</p><p> </p><p>(*Stacy shuts the door and runs away from bedroom*)</p><p> </p><p>(*Stacy goes off into a private corner and calls Candace*)</p><p> </p><p>Stacy: “Candace, I just caught Coltrane masturbating to me! He likes me! I told you wearing those yoga pants was a good idea!”</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> Fin </em>
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